This isn't a blog I wanted to create. If I am going to spend a year letting go, why add something else to an already bulging basket? Why put another "to do" on the weekly schedule?
But this wouldn't let go. It wouldn't let me be. It came in idle thoughts and in dreams. It sneaked in, grabbed hold, and wouldn't let go. Can it be that making my thoughts and my work public - inner and outer - will make me accountable, more transparent, more real? We shall see, I guess.
This past year, the last decade-plus, has been a journey of stretching but never reaching, of trying but not achieving, of not seeing clearly but thrashing, making the water more and more muddy. Never clear, always foggy. Of acquiring "stuff" but regretting most of it before it ever came home. Of looking for ... WHATEVER ... outside. Never in.
2017 was a time of endings, some decades in coming. Even now, the thought of truly letting go is terrifying to me. How?
This is the journey for now, for this year, for these days that stretch ahead. If you choose to join me along the way, welcome. Some weeks may be boring as hell. Some may be a wild ride. Even right now, the ride is gearing up. Here we go.
No comments:
Post a Comment